There's A Mouse In This House
Well the title says it all. N woke on Monday and met me outside her room with disturbing news. She had gone to the pantry to make her lunch and found that her Reese's PB cups had been broken into and not by a human. Being we both are college educated it was quite simple for her to deduce that the probability of a rodent in our house was high. Frankly we both think this little guy is an asshole and we have called him that in hopes that our outright harassment and verbal death threats will scare him from the house, so far unsuccessful. Really why would a mouse come to our house, go live with some girl that has a man in her life to take care of this situation, leave us single women alone, we have enough to deal with already. Thankfully LW came to the rescue yesterday by setting four traps for us and also by sitting with us until midnight last night as a sign of moral support. For some reason LW declined to sleep on our couch (or in our beds, or in the "guest room") on an all-night patrol for the #$%^@ing mouse and did not appear at 5:30 this morning to check our traps, but his services were much appreciated indeed. So as you can assume N woke me at 5:30 to check the traps with her. Hesitantly we approached the kitchen to find that the stupid P.O.S. mouse simply ate the peanut butter off the traps. Seriously mouse do not mock me because now I really won't feel bad about the trap snapping your neck in half. Any way all the traps were empty and PB had been eaten off of two of them. My message to the mouse at this moment, "See you in hell!".
The Cost Of Sight
Today I begrudgingly put in my last pair of contacts knowing that it meant a trip to the eye doctor and some moolah vacating my already painfully small bank account. I headed to the mall for my exam under the impression that my ridiculously unsatisfying job offers at least one great benefit to it, that being a discount at most of the chain eye wear dealers. As I entered the office I was pleased to find that my doctor was smokin' hot, I mean maybe the man of my dreams was just an escalator ride away? WRONG. Not only was my eye doctor fantasy interrupted by the glare of the wedding ring on his left hand but also by the presence of photographs of his two adorable sons. Just when I though the situation couldn't look any more bleak his wife and newborn son entered. Lovely. This is clearly going no where. I really thought that is where the assault would end, I was wrong, so very wrong. I went to pay for my exam (which I thought was fully covered by my medical insurance) and was charged $115. Apparently getting fitted for contacts is an extra $50, but don't worry my work "discount" provided me with $5 whole off! WOOOOOOOOO! Then I moved onto picking out some glasses. My current frames and lenses are over 5 years old and really need updating, I scoured the store and found a SUPER cute pair and the price didn't look too terrible so I proceeded to purchase them only to find the lenses they wanted to add were $415, add that to the $179 frames, subtract my work "discount" and we were looking at $398 for the glasses. HA. Are you kidding me? I wear these maybe 15 hours a week. No way. No way in hell. After some finagling and talking the eye wear technician (by the way what does that mean? Eye wear technician? Gag me you are no better than I downstairs .... I need a new job title ... I digress) down to a lower quality lens I ended up dropping $258 on my new glasses. But they are cute and I found that they were exactly what I picked out on my blog back in July.
D&G Havana Frames Maybe these will snag me some hot lawyer at Drake. Ok, who am I kidding? So for the record at this point I have dropped $373, enter contact lenses. Out of curiosity I ask the "technician" what the cost of my contact lenses will be, she replies, " one year looks like it will run you $455." COMO?!? Oh hell no. This girl is NOT paying another $450 to be able to SEE. At this point my trip to the eye doctor not only cost me emotional distress due to the marital status of the doctor but then the jerk decided to take $823 from me. Needless to say I am investigating other options on the contact lens front.
Who Needs A Degree?
At this point I am seriously contemplating why I decided to spend over $30,000 for the piece of paper that declares me a graphic designer. I am dead broke and I hate my job. I make $6 an hour when I put in over time and my shift this Saturday is 12.5 hours long. I might as well become the mother to an illegitimate child so I could have some sort of money to live off of. Now I am tacking on an additional $25,000 in grad school debt to become a teacher. Eight years of school to become a teacher? I really should have just skipped the college scene and I could be a manager at VS pulling down $50,000+ with NO debt. I really hope this all pays off.
What Is This?
I've been hearing this on the radio lately and I am undecided on it. Part of me wants to love it but then I remember I'm over autotune and it completely bastardizes "Hide and Seek". Also, kindly remove that damn chinstrap and wallet chain and stop grabbing your junk, I get that you have a penis. Thank you Jason Derulo for your continued devotion to utter douchebaggery, frats everywhere thank you (too harsh?). In protest I did not pay for the song that is now a part of my iTunes library, suck on that.
-----------------
So that is what I have to complain about today. I know I am really blessed and have tons of amazing things happening in my life but seriously could I just please win the lottery?
No comments:
Post a Comment