Worst. Movie. Ever.

Nik, I am outing you on this. Seriously I think Catfish could be, no, IS the worst movie I've ever seen. It was worse than the giant vagina monster let-down in War of the Worlds, the giant neon blue testicles and space ship orgasm in Watchmen, the ridiculous snake manifesto that was Cold Creek Manor and it made Invictus look Oscar worthy. I ask those of you who have not seen the trailer to watch this:


Now after seeing this I am willing to guess you've made the following assumptions:
1) This is a horror movie
2) "The final forty minutes of the film will take you on an emotional roller-coaster ride that you won't be able to shake for days"
3) Something terrible goes down in that barn Nev looks into
4) It will be bizarre and completely unpredictable
5) There will be a shattering conclusion
6) Someone gets shanked (that's my onomatopoeia Nik)

Well you'd be wrong. I don't want any of you to waste away part of your life finding out what this movie was about so I'll just tell you.
1) Not a horror movie, not even sort of a horror movie. The only thing slightly terrifying in this movie was the sheer amount of hair covering the lead male's chest and the fact that his hand seemed to creep into his pants more often than not.
2) There was no emotional rollercoaster ride. The plot was explained before the guys even headed to Michigan and from there on out the movie was a wash.
3) Nothing was in the barn. No one lived on the farm. Nothing.
4) Bizarre maybe, but predictable once the plot was clear.
5) No shattering conclusion. The dude found a crazy lady who made up a fake life on Facebook and he feel for it for over 9 months. She was batty and had a shitty life, end of story.
6) No one got shanked.

I headed to Rotten Tomatoes hoping to see this movie rolling in about the 30's but was shocked to see it pull in at 78%. For reference here are some other RT ratings, clearly I am no longer choosing this site as a valid frame of reference on the good movie scale either:
Jaws: 100%
Inception: 87%
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: 85%
Ferris Bueller's Day Off: 80%
Invictus: 75%
War of the Worlds: 73%
Idiocracy: 73%
Cool Runnings: 73%
Anchorman: 66%
Watchmen: 64%
Bring It On: 63%
Dumb and Dumber: 62%
The Notebook: 52%
Top Gun: 45%
Gummo: 34%
Cold Creek Manor: 12%

The best part of the evening were the 3 mild margs from On The Border and the slew of sound effects I was able to witness. Thanks for the effort Nik but next time I'll need a little more convincing when it comes to seeing a movie with you.